Updated: Oct 7, 2020
To friends, fans, and lovers,
Today, Azia is fabric shopping (If you've never been to a fabric store in New York, it's an absolute kind of heaven).
In the wake of Azia’s invigorating song “I’m Done,” this weekend gave me a lot of time to think about who I truly want in my life, and who I just cannot fuck with anymore.
I spent the weekend meditating and detoxing by granting myself some much needed isolation. It’s hard to know just how much to let go of in 2020. This year has felt like a massive closet purge in every aspect, whether you’ve had to release any old habits, beliefs, or people. I’ve let go of so many toxic people in my life, or people I was just hanging out with out of habit who weren’t enriching me. Social distancing put a lot of that into focus. Now, I’m focusing on figuring out who I am before I decide who I want in my life. That being said, I almost threw out the baby with the bath water (that’s an idiom, not a 2020 news headline). I’m realizing not all struggling relationships have to be labeled “toxic.” It’s been a rough year, so if you and your friend/partner are just going through a weird patch in these topsy-turvy times, take space for yourself, you’ll be there for each other when it matters most. In other words, don’t cut everyone out too quickly.
Speaking with Azia, we figured out a few tenets of a truly toxic person: if someone is lying, abusing your trust, and/or damaging your self esteem, that person has to go. If someone is so toxic they’re overtaking your life, don’t be afraid to be the villain in their storyline in order to cut them out for your own self preservation. In her own words, "I know when it's time to cut someone off when I'm like super stressed, I'm just annoyed by the person. Nothing that they do is right, everything absolutely annoys me, and slowly but surely I just start to dislike them. It gets to a point where I'm making excuses of why I should like them versus just... honestly liking them."
However, by admitting you have toxic people in your life, you’re also admitting that you have some toxic habits to work on as well. In cutting out toxic people, you can no longer be in denial about the self-work you need to do. This year has taught us a lot. Even amidst all the confusion and uncertainty, the life and death cycle is very tangible, and it’s the oldest teacher there is. It’s time to let go of our past and live for ourselves today. According to Azia, "This year has taught me how to focus on myself, putting myself first. Also, putting time into doing A to Z - not A to G - but all the way through to the very very end," as well as perseverance, and understanding the importance of family, "Just being one with yourself."
Embrace your power: Who in your life is making you overextend yourself? Who is making you question yourself, or dimming your light? Azia thanks you for your continued support <3 If you enjoyed this newsletter and support Azia, subscribe to this music column and share with your friends for advice on life, love, business, from Azia herself.
WRITTEN BY TESS STOFKO